Howdy y’all! I’m embracing my Okie roots today to talk a little bit about that stereotypical “southern hospitality” gene I’m supposed to have. (spoiler alert – I don’t have it)
Yes. I say y’all a lot.
I DO own a pair of cowboy boots and they are the second most comfortable things I’ve ever put on my feet (after my moccasins).
I love drinking sweet tea out of mason jars. From the front porch. In my rocking chair. Okay, the porch part is a lie. My front porch is tiny, but I totally would if I could.
But one thing I DON’T do is the stereotypical “southern hospitality” thing.
Lemme just give a quick definition of what southern hospitality means – courtesy of my best friend Wikipedia: Southern hospitality is a phrase used in American English to describe the stereotype of residents of the Southern United States as particularly warm, sweet, and welcoming to visitors to their homes, or to the South in general.
That doesn’t sound so bad though, right?
It’s not… But here’s the “real” definition. i.e. what it actually means around here… Hint: it’s mostly used as an insult unless you’re singing a stupid country song by Luke Bryan that isn’t even country, it’s just pop with a fake hillbilly accent.
Southern hospitality: noun
Source: Brooke Lawson’s brain
Going out of your way to make other people happy (or to prevent their feelings from being hurt) at the expense of your own goals, desires, values, and/or beliefs.
First let me say this – I get that we’re all humans. We ALL want to help people. We all want to be liked. (especially my Caregiver’s and Innocent’s), but I’m here to tell you that saying NO is the BEST thing you can do to build your brand, keep your sanity, and actually love your business.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not a mean person by any account. And I’m in NO WAY advocating being a dick to anyone. Ever.
But what I AM saying that sugarcoating the truth, doing things you don’t wanna’ do just because someone asked you to, and bending over so far backwards to kiss someone’s ass that you could win the Yoga Olympics (?? that should be a thing) does not help anyone. It doesn’t help you. And it certainly doesn’t help your clients.
You might think it sounds a little harsh, but here’s the thing… IT’S NOT MY JOB TO MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD. #sorrynotsorry
↠ It IS my job to provide support and accountability however you need it.
↠ It IS my job to create a safe space to share openly about your goals, struggles, and desires.
↠ It IS my job to make you think about things differently.
↠ It IS my job to help you get where you want to be.
But you’ll never get there if I don’t tell you the truth.
Our relationship will never work if I’m worried about hurting your feelings.
I would be doing a huge disservice to you if I just told you what you wanted to hear all the time. Because you would never achieve your goals. You’d stay in your cute little comfort zone and never actually accomplish anything new or scary or amazing that you want to do.
I’d even be doing a disservice to myself. Because hello… if my clients don’t succeed it kinda’ makes me look bad. Right? I WANT YOU TO SUCCEED. And I’m gonna’ do whatever I need to do to make sure that happens.
And the same thing goes for you and your work.
Sometimes you HAVE TO say no to your clients. You have to be okay with making them uncomfortable. You even have to be okay with turning them away completely if you feel like you aren’t a good fit.
But that’s hard, right?
Have you ever had to do it? Or have you ever WANTED to say no, but couldn’t make yourself do it? (been there)
Comment below and let me know how YOU handled it!
Can’t get enough of this stuff?!
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Samoa Blachet is a Quantum Cash & Clients Coach at her biz Ink’d by Samoa. She’s coming in for #SpotlightSunday to share how to become a Limitless Leader.
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Rose Kirby is a Global Wealth Coach to ambitious business owners, member of the Forbes Coaches Council, TedX speaker & former McKinsey consultant.